E. Samuel Tyler's Journal

Time:

10:21 am.

You know what's nice? I'll tell you what's nice. Getting through a Seven where I am not required to hit anything in the face -- and that makes my son giggle.

Also, I was STUNNING with flowing golden locks, I'd like you all to know that.

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Time:

10:27 am.

Why can't news reporters ever ask me questions when investigations are going well? Can you answer that one, universe? Bah.

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Time:

10:33 am.

Whoever thought it was a great idea to have MY four year old son run around with a giant wooden mallet and the strength of ten men? Officially needs to have their @#$@## head examined! He's been running around, hitting that damned thing on the floor yelling, "BAM! BAM BAM BAM!"

It also doesn't help that everyone's calling me Barney Rubble. BARNEY RUBBLE? Honestly? Good Grief. Is it midnight yet? I'd like to be able to take some bloody aspirin.

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Time:

11:55 am.

( Private )

( Leo )

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Time:

1:52 am.

I think it's telling I glared my two little bastard selves to silence.

Probably nothing good, at any rate, but I was amused.

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Time:

11:09 am.

I'm not a sentimental man - but considering everything that's been going on lately? I just want to express my gratitude to Tampa for not being a COMPLETE bastard.

That is all.

Hopefully that'll get us a little mercy this upcoming 7.

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Time:

11:13 am.

Hm.

Yeah, nothing to say.

Katie, can you take Tobey for the day?

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Time:

9:03 am.

... what the bloody hell is everyone's problem today? I keep running into people just staring like zombies into mirrors today.

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Time:

10:35 am.

You know, there are some days where you just have to sit down on your bed with a bottle of wine and some rather questionable British children's television and admit to yourself that you have no bloody clue what the hell is going on.

It's like 1973 again. Except, y'know, better hair.

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Time:

9:55 am.

In my family, we've got a tradition. WELL, immediate family, anyways. We spend the first five minutes of the New Year not thinking of ways to improve our lives, but how our lives have already in fact, improved. So, here's my list of 2008, just for all you lucky folks.

- Properly grieved. I miss you, Susan-baby, but at least now I'm not drowning without you.
- Saw my son to his first proper day of school.
- Fell in love. Hello, Mal.
- Found someone who isn't Mal, who totally gets me. Hello, Jos.
- Found an entirely crazy new family to add to mine. You know who you are.
- Loved my own crazy family. Chris, Jo, Katie, SAM - I love you.
- Added more to that - Hello, Kay. Welcome to the family.
- Put a dangerous killer in prison - with loads of help. Thank you, every last one of you. Even you, Wayne.
- Found out who I was, and still kept back the TIDALWAVE of insanity. So far. Knock on wood.
- Saved lives.
- Loved my son more this year.
- Stayed alive. It was a close one, but I didn't make my son an orphan.
- Lived life, and didn't regret a moment of it.

So, that's it. I'm sure more will come to me - but that's a bloody good start, eh?

Happy New Year's, Tampa. See you when I get back.

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Time:

2:25 pm.

Good God.

I'm leaving the country.

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Time:

12:23 pm.

I hate turkeys. I won't lie. They're evil.

But I'm not going to shoot them in supermarkets.

That's redundant. They're already dead.

( Malorie )

( Jos )

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Time:

12:58 pm.

Hey.

Forget what you see in the media.

Not exactly dead. ~~I think.~~

...I'm getting those turkeys. Just as soon as my family releases me.

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Subject:	Third Person Closed - Around 6 this morning...
Time:	9:50 am.

A short, dark haired doctor walked out of the operating room, pulling down his surgical mask. His scrubs were splattered with blood, and his blue eyes were grim as he faced the Tyler family, and Malorie. He exhaled softly, looking around with regret. "I'm sorry ... there was just way too much internal damage. We lost him - "

There was a shriek of something near terror, and he turned towards the noise, blinking as the two doors leading from the operating theatre banged open, and E. Sam Tyler stood there, with a sheet wrapped around his middle and a furious expression on his face.

E. Sam stood there, staring at his family, whole and untouched, and growled, "Where. Is. My. BLOODY. gun? There are THIRTY TURKEYS out there about to be arrested for ATTEMPTED MURDER and PISSING ME OFF!"

There was a moment of silence.

He stared at them, then waved his hands, "What?!"

Dr. Baker slumped to a wall, just staring. Tobey jumped into his father's arms and his mother followed, half sobbing and half hitting him on the arm.

"...all right, now everyone's just bloody mad." He sighed and hugged Tobey. "What else would I expect on a Seven?"

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Subject:	PLOT - TURKEYS ATTACK!
Time:	1:45 am.

E. Sam had only picked up the shift as a favor to one of the patrolmen he had known for years. The guy was working tomorrow, wanted to spend some time helping his wife, and E. Sam heard the whole long sad story before he broke down and said he'd take the 6 to 2 patrol.

He should have known better. He really, really should have known better to take a patrol day on Seven.

He and his partner were 'shooting the shit', talking about their holidays, when the call came in. Apparently there was some sort of animal attack in one of the high-rises downtown. A law firm was having a Thanksgiving fest for their employees before a three-day weekend. The party was winding down sometime around midnight ...

When the incident happened. Or at least that's the spooky voice that the sergeant on the radio put it, before having a chuckle.

E. Sam rolled his eye at his partner. "Honestly - probably another of those weird gerbil-inna-boardroom sick things."

"Yeah ... but we're going get this done, grab some late dinner, then we're done." His partner shrugged. "Like you said, the worse thing that could happen is gerbils."

----

That wasn't the worse that could happen.

----

The scene they came upon was total pandamonium, people running, screaming, trying to make for the exits with a variety of cuts and scratches. E. Sam and his partner stared at each other, stared back at the panicked crowd, and then at each other.

As one, they pulled out their regulation firearms and started to shout, telling people to leave the elevators be and calmly climb the five flights down to safety. CALMLY.

Of course, it was a little hard for them to keep up that up, when they saw the entire flock of turkeys. Angry, angry turkeys.

E. Sam stared as they barreled towards him, his mouth dropping open, "What in the name of - "

The turkeys attacked.

----

A minute and a half later, the glass window exploded outward, as E. Sam fell backwards, and down ... down ... down.

Crunch.

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Time:

11:45 am.

Well, it was inevitable. Time to do my time on the beat, so to speak. With no open cases pending I'm off to do my month on patrol. Don't mind it really - gives me time to rest, relax, and get talking with the other officers. It also means I have more time for the family, so not bad at all, eh?

Thanksgiving off, too. I guess I could almost consider this a vacation. Well, sort of.

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Time:

2:47 pm.

Hah! Male again, and now? Random penguins.

This town is bloody batshit.

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Time:

10:00 am.

I continue to be a woman.

But at least my girlfriend likes it.

Edit: I didn't mean it that way!